Paula Hillman, author

I wrote this scene to show an interaction between Jill, Stoney and Annie Brownstone. I cut it in the end, because it wasn’t needed, and replaced it with one sentence:

‘And when he’d fished in his pocket for money to buy her an ice cream, she’d wanted to weep.’ (p. 59 in the book).

I think that shows how much editing needs to be done on an initial draft!

Stoney and his mother stepped out from behind her, and the front door closed heavily. Seagulls swooped and heckled. Across the garden was a border full of bright flowers, daisies, Jill thought. Fresh as a daisy, as her mum would say. Jill didn’t feel fresh. Every time Seaview took her in, she came out as someone different. And the worst of it was, she had no control over the change.

   ‘Right, my dear.’ Annie touched her hair lightly. ‘Let’s do this shopping.’

    The white Wartburg was parked at the bottom of Seaview’s steps and Annie chattered as they climbed down.

     Stoney put his hand on Jill’s shoulder. ‘Jilly, isn’t The Old Queen silly.

She glowered. There was an immaturity to him. The way he spoke to his mother was nothing short of rude, calling her The Old Queen and ordering her about. He had no brothers or sisters: perhaps that’s how only children were. Her own mother would not have put up with it. There was something addictive about Stoney, but he also made her want to run. Miles away, back into her life as a kid with no worries.

       ‘Your carriage awaits, mademoiselle.’ He bowed, then pulled open the back door of the Wartburg. Jill giggled. Was this how adults behaved? Adults that were going out? She clambered in, Lucky behind her, and Stoney followed, slamming the door.

   ‘Never been to the Co-op before. You’ll have to teach me how to shop.’

   Annie cut in. ‘He’s telling the truth, Jill.’ She started up the car. ‘Though he does seem to know his way around Earthquake Records.’ She caught Jill’s eye in the rear-view mirror. ‘I’m sure he’ll be good at carrying your bags.’

   Stoney clutched at his chest. ‘Your words are deeply hurtful, mother. I am the perfect son.’

    Annie huffed and Jill snorted with laughter.

   ‘You laughing at me, Jilly?’ Stoney shook his head. ‘I am being so badly treated by the women in this car.’ He stuck out his bottom lip and jabbed a finger into Annie’s side.

    She shrieked. ‘Stop it, Andy. You’re showing me up in front of Jill.’ But the laughter continued. Jill joined in. How could she not? Her body was filled with a prickly energy that needed to burn itself out.

   They made their way inland, through terraced streets, past small shops and the occasional pub. Lucky laid his head on Jill’s knee, ears flat against his head. Stoney craned forward, looking through the front window of the car, intent on something.

   ‘Didn’t Nana live round here once?’

   Annie lifted one hand from the steering wheel and pointed towards a post office on the end of a row. ‘She did. I was born there. In that flat.’

   Jill looked up. Above the post office sign were two large windows, blanked out by off-white net curtains. ‘Did she run the post office then?’

   ‘She did. With my dad. It was the first one on the island. She cried, the day they had to retire.’ Annie turned her head away. ‘She would have loved more children, but there was only me.’

   ‘Got some stories to tell though, hasn’t she, mother.’ Stoney gave Jill a wry grin. ‘I sit and listen to her for hours sometimes. Till she falls asleep half-way through a tale.’

   ‘You’re a good lad really,’ murmured Annie, as though she’d forgotten Jill was even there. But Stoney hadn’t.

     He pointed down the road.  ‘Lookster. The Co-op. Time for my shopping lessons.’

   Annie pulled the car in and stopped next to the kerb. She ran a hand through her hair, then glanced over her shoulder at Jill. ‘Good luck. I’ll stay here with the dog.’

                                                                     *

   Later, when Annie pulled into the end of Jill’s street, she had almost buried her unease under the layers of fun she’d had wandering the aisles of the Co-op with Stoney. He made her laugh. Her ribs ached with it, and when he’d reached into his pocket to pay for an ice cream for them both, the gesture felt so personal, she’d had to swallow down her tears with the first few bites.

    ‘See you again soon, my dear.’ Annie reached her hand across to where Jill was sitting, clutching the bags of shopping.

   ‘Thanks for the lift.’ Jill took the soft hand. A squeeze of solidarity. Then she wriggled herself from the back seat, letting Lucky onto the street, and dragging the bags with her.

   ‘Bye.’ Her eyes met Stoney’s.

   ‘See ya.’ He had his mother’s smile. ‘Soon.’